“In Dog We Trust”: Why Church for Dogs is Even Stupider Than Church for People
May 19, 2010
Once again, The Boston Herald has “enlightened” me. Apparently,the Calvary Episcopal Church in Danvers, Massachusetts will be offering their new “Perfect Paws Pet Ministry” on the third Sunday of every month, allowing dog owners to drag their pooches to the house of prayer. The Herald wrote a short piece reviewing the first service, showcasing the overwhelming display of stupidity.
But why am I so against dogs going to church? Because it’s not at all as harmless as it appears to be. It is a testament to the gullibility and contradiction of Christians, and it’s taking place in my own backyard.
It is hard for me to read statements such as this:
“They did beautifully. There was some sniffing and barking but once we began worship they weren’t disruptive at all,” said the Rev. Thea Keith-Lucas. “They just added to the joy of the experience.”
and not get upset. The implication in the above sentence is that the dogs quieted down because they knew the service started. As if God Himself had reached down to muzzle the canines. So not only are these people bringing their pets to church (to save them? PawMen?), but they also believe that the atmosphere of the church is having a nearly tangible effect on these animals. It makes my mind wither to think about.
And then, of course, the next thing I thought was, “what’s the point?” Nearly every Christian I’ve ever spoken to on the matter of all dogs going to Heaven is in agreement that Spot doesn’t have a soul to reach the pearly gates in the first place. So why bother dragging your animal to the service? They can’t be “saved”, and they certainly don’t understand what’s going on.
These Church-goers apparently beg to differ with me on that, however, or else they wouldn’t bring Fido along at all. Donna Mercier of Revere, MA, said she likes to bring her dog because ” it just allows me to get that much closer to my pet”. Donna, try taking your dog for a walk, sometime. I’ve also heard they love playing fetch. Just sayin’.
Overall, I think this is just a ploy by the Church to get peoples’ minds off of the fact that members of the Catholic Clergy have been in some hot water with that whole pedophilia thing lately. And I would expect nothing less of the Catholic Church than to deflect peoples’ attention rather than to own up to their mistakes. PawMan to that.
May 19, 2010 at 4:30 pm
SO MUCH HEADDESK.
Let me preface my comment with this: I am definitely one of those dog owners that lets their dog share their bed, kisses their dog on the mouth, feeds them scraps from the table, spoils them rotten, etc., etc. I also consider all animals to be non-human persons (especially animals that are so interwoven in everyday human life, like dogs, cats, horses, etc.); so of course I am sure they have personality. (If I were religious, I would certainly consider them to have souls.)BUT THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS. What’s next? A Doggie Ten Commandments?
It should be said that the Episcopal establishment is NOT part of the Catholic Church establishment, however. The Episcopal church generally supports evolution, allows priests to marry, allows women and gays to be priests…which pretty much makes it quite different from the Catholic Church. Of all the Christian establishments, I find them to be the most progressive. But I do agree this is just a ploy to gain more membership for their church, and get those members more involved. Because, ya know, religion wasn’t already vastly intrusive into, and controlling of its followers’ personal lives. By incorporating pets into religion like this, what’s left? Taking a shit, maybe? Not if the image of Jesus appears in that shit, I guess.
(By the way, I am excited to start being a regular reader of your blog!
)
May 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm
The Episcopal Church is just watered down Catholicism. The similarities there are striking enough that I do think the Episcopalian church is doing this to separate themselves from their slightly off-color second cousin.
But yes, very much a lot of headdesking. And to think I usually consider myself lucky to live in Massachusetts?
(I am excited for you to be here, thanks for commenting!)
July 12, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Let’s not forget that American Episcopalianism is the offshoot of the Anglican Church, which does have 500+ years of separation from the Catholic Church, regardless of its similarities.
I would wager that the percentage of Episcopalians or Anglicans worried about being blamed for the Catholic pedophilia scandal is near zero, considering their priesthood is not geared to attract pedophiles–i.e., they can marry. Plus, they live in this bubble where Catholicism and Anglicanism are never confused.
May 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm
FYI gwrthryfel: Catholic Church also accepts evolution, and is in many ways one of the more scientific / intellectual religions (which is not saying a whole lot).
Sure, we can all agree that church is stupid. But I don’t find pet church to be particularly stupid (and I don’t even like pets).
In California, some particularly liberal employers let people bring their pets to work. Some people bring their pets along with them shopping (sometimes riding in doggy-purses). They just like having them around as much as possible, apparently. So why is it odd that they’d want to bring them to church?
And of course it’s a ploy to get people involved. But that’s not stupid or even sinister.
If you ran an atheist club, and you found out that a large % of your members wanted to bring their dogs to the Atheist Club meetings, or to drink coffee and eat donuts at meetings, or play Bingo at meetings, or hold the meetings at a pub, or WHATEVER… Why wouldn’t you try to make reasonable accommodations?
May 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm
I really dislike it when people say things akin to “Yeah, but if you had an atheist club/ camp/ organization/ etc., it would be no different for you than for the religious club/ camp/ organization. etc. because…”
Here’s the thing: they would be different. Very different! Because an atheist group wouldn’t have any dogma going along with it. This pet mass is worrisome simply because there is quite literally far too much dogma involved (if you will forgive the rather cheap shot at a pun).
I don’t see this as “Oh hey, if you have a pet bring him on down to keep you company!” I see this as “Bring your pet, get closer to him spiritually, let him feel the presence of God”. And that IS stupid because these peoples’ religious beliefs are leading them to think that their pets are really attaining some sort of benefit from this experience.
May 19, 2010 at 5:55 pm
@smelly girl: That is true. I think that the Catholic Church just isn’t as upfront about it as the Episcopal church seems to be. But they are quite involved in the sciences, notably in the field of astronomy. I recall Bill Maher’s Religulous, in which one of the Church’s astronomers very eagerly endorsed the sciences.
I definitely see smelly girl’s point, comparing this pet church to accommodating pets in the workplace, restaurants, etc. I hadn’t considered that. And in that respect, I would have nothing negative to say about people bringing their pets to church. I wish I could bring my dog with me everywhere!
My negative reaction is directed at the idea that pets are actually participating in the ceremony, or that god is somehow having an effect on them, when instead they are probably just well-behaved pets, that took queues from their owners’ silence, and settled down.
May 19, 2010 at 6:27 pm
I agree…I believe that this is just another exercise of futility in the bigger exercise of futility which is making a mockery of God and His word. This is totally mind-numbing. IT’S AN ANIMAL!!! They do not have the ability to choose to live by the spirit thus they do not have the capacity to accept Christ…or any belief system for that matter. Why don’t I bring my netbook to church and allow it to worship because when it’s running it does have a cpu to tell it what to do right??? Ridiculous.
May 20, 2010 at 8:41 am
I see this mostly as a marketing gimmick. Will it work? Probably not, but it does at least show how desperate some churches are getting to fill the pews (and collection plates).
May 20, 2010 at 11:13 am
I agree with vjack. . . it is plainly a marketing gimmick. Just like churches that advertise that you can go to their service in “jeans” and “t-shirts” simply so they can “lure” younger more “hip” persons to their services.
I wonder. . . if a dog did raise a leg on a pew, or vomited after eating a wafer, would he be possessed by satan? (They did eat wafers right? I mean, how else are they going to heaven if they did not get to eat their saviour?!)
June 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Allowing people to upset you with their stupidity is a successful prescription for spending most of your lifetime in perpetual lamentation. Religion, particularly, is an inexhaustible source of inured foolishness that energizes the combative atheists at the same time that desensitizes ever more those of us who just don’t give a damn.